Monday, May 21, 2007

I can admit when I am wrong

Apparently my Chosen Sister (I stole the term from here.)had to set me straight this morning. She was a "Clique Hopper" too. This I knew and I think what I said was not communicated well. I must say we do learn by making mistakes though because I had no idea that she had gotten in "trouble" in 4th grade by a very enlightened teacher who realized she was getting into a very small clique that would ultimately lead her down a path of self centeredness and close mindedness. I am not saying that she would have turned out that way because later in school years I think due to life she would have changed. I just think this teacher realized these three little girls (that is what they were at the time) were closing themselves off to the rest of the world. Thank goodness for this teacher because there is a chance if it had not been for her that my sister would not have chosen me. I should send her a thank you card because that one act 25 years ago may have molded part of my life.

When I said that she didn't understand my "clique hopping" I was incorrect. She understood it. She just didn't understand why I would chose to hop into a crowd of not so desirables. There were lots of reasons for this. I think some of it was for shock effect. Some of it was for the bad girl image. Some of it was so I could do the things that some of the straight laced cliques would never have done with me. Some of it was for safety.. like I said lots of reasons. I don't regret it, none of it. I would not change a thing because ultimately everything I have ever done in my life has brought me to where I am today.

So to my chosen sister I am sorry that I made it sound like you didn't understand me, because you did more than anyone else in my life. LHK

This is all leading to something I promise.

I read on a blog the other day a question. I can not remember the exact verbiage of the question but it was pretty much this "If you could live your dream life what would it be?"

I am living my dream life. There is nothing I would change (well I might be living in a bigger house). The fact is I am not sure that many people would agree with me if you knew my entire situation but the deal is I am happy, my children are happy, and my husband is happy. Isn't that what life is all about? I have a great job that I love. I love the people I work with (well 99% of them) and I love the work I do. I live in an awesome town even though to some people it maybe small town (it is). I married a man that I have loved in some capacity for my entire adult life. I have life long friends who are all over the US and even one that is far far away. I have people who come here and read this blog who I have never met, who I have never emailed, the extinct of our relationship is leaving each other comments on our blogs, but the fact is I care about them and they care about me. Read my comments if you don't believe me. I have a friend who I have spoken to on the phone maybe twice, the rest is email but I know if I called her today and told her I was in trouble she would be there for me.

I may not have enough money to pay all my debt off in the bank, I may not have a house big enough to hold all my books, I may not have all 4 of my kids under one roof, I may not have the fanciest car in town, but I am richer now than I ever imagined I would be.

To me that is a dream life if I ever heard of one.

4 comments:

kim-d said...

I think being happy with yourself and with what you have in your life is the epitome of living the dream. All the rest is just stuff, and that is not your life. And, yes, my friend--you have friends. I'm one of them. And feel very fortunate to be one of them. When I like someone, I like them just as they are. Just like YOU are.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't a Clique Hopper. I was a Clique Avoider.

I'm still struggling to just be happy with what I have - and I know I have a lot. Well sometimes I'm where you are on the happiness stuff but I guess not today.

Anonymous said...

I like to think I'm living a dream as well. I pinch myself every day ahd havn't woken up yet! There are days when my boss really gets on my wick though ... those are the days I have to remind myself that this is my dream! Ain't life grande!

Anonymous said...

You're the best Chosen Sister to have! LHK

I still don't like some of those people you hung out with. They were meanies. :-)

I'm happy that you are happy. Nothing like what we thought would make us happy, is it?

There are still some days where I think it might be nice to not have any responsibilities other than knowing where the Band-Aids are located.