A taste of fall!

Good Evening my lovely ladies!

I first have to say hi to a few people that have left comments that aren't my regular fans.

Hi there Lisa Carol and Katie!
Katie I know where you popped in from but Lisa Carol is a mind stumper since she asked me a question in my comments but I had no way but via my blog to respond. So Lisa Carol.. reveal yourself honey.. if you have a blog let us know! We love to blog hop to new places!

As for the rest of you.. SMOOCH!!!

Ok on to my real post. My sister person and I are both very strong advocates of fall. She tries to save Thanksgiving every year from being over taken by Christmas. I relish in Halloween myself.. are any of you surprised?? Either way fall is a favorite time of year for both of us. I think she always looks so radiant in the fall, I think it has to do with her tones, she is a very beautiful woman and it is something about the fall colors that just make her pop.

Another thing I just adore about fall, Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks! Oh not to mention the pumpkin cream cheese muffins they have. I can actually SEE my ass get bigger as I am walking out the store but dear god those things are to DIE for. The good thing is that the closest Starbucks to me is an hour away. However, there is a substitute, International Coffees has a Pumpkin Pie coffee cream in the diary section and I must say it runs a very close second. To me it is just the perfect thing on those brisk fall mornings or cool fall evenings. I made a cup tonight and walked out on the deck to enjoy the air and the pumpkin. I was in heaven.

The one bad thing about fall on the water is nothing changes. We don't have the beautiful color changes of the trees, we many have Pine Trees around these parts so leaves of fall color is not something I get to enjoy unless I take a trip west, which I never do by the way.

Oh and apparently my blog is boring.... no pictures.

I hate my camera, so I don't take many pictures anymore.

SMOOCHIES!!!

Mystery Solved

The song is Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. I didn't really mean to make this a guessing game, yesterday's post just popped into my head at an inopportune time for blogging. So I just threw the lyrics up there and let it ride.

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face...

...stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed

One of the best lyrics ever.

Thanks Kim for reminding me of it.

The books I read...

Since I have three weeks off from school I have started reading for fun again. I am currently reading Fahrenheit 451 which I swear I was supposed to read in high school but don't remember actually doing it. Which is odd because I typically read what I was supposed to. My problem wasn't that I didn't READ the material it was my view of the material was always what the teachers called WRONG.

It leads me to believe that teachers really do not want us to think, they just want to pump us full of ideas that some high power has decided is what is right. I remember I once did a term paper and was told how wrong it was because of my personal view on the subject matter. I matter of factly told the teacher that I was not in fact wrong I just didn't believe in the same things that she did. I got an F anyway.

I also remember having to pick apart literary works of art and spew back to the teacher what the author meant by saying something like "the sky rolled with a blackness the color of death" of course me being the person I am my typical response would be "I haven't the slightest idea because death isn't black at all .. it is more of a teal." Again I would get a F. Why was it wrong.. because apparently that the author meant was something to the effect of "it was dark outside" My question was always.. well if that is what he meant why the hell didn't he say it was dark outside! My point also being that if the author wanted us all to think that what he meant was it was dark outside then he would have left no wiggle room, he would have said that.

I can give you many different means to "the sky rolled with a blackness the color of death."
1. there is a storm rolling in.
2. the sky was filled with spirits of the dead.
3. the sky was clouded with smoke

And I can tell you all of the are right... how do I know.. because I wrote the stupid line.

I get so tired of people telling me how to interpret things, I have a brain, I will decide on my own. Apparently I am failing life as well.

Oh Dear Sweet Kim

As much as I love you.. your request for Nancy .

Denied Denied Denied!!!

I hate hate hate Nancy. I can't even being to tell you how much I hate her.
I could care less how interesting she is or not.

Sorry.. I am a little bitter.

smooch

The Deadly Dinner Party

WARNING.. WARNING WARNING.. Sister Person.. skip over this ENTIRE post .. I don't want you upset.

Ok a great friend asked me today if I had ever played the dinner party game and if I had heard of it.
Of course I had but I just didn't know it by that name. The games goes like this.
Name ten people you would invite to a dinner party if you could either living or dead. There is no limit as to the who's.

I rattled them off very quickly then returned and changed it and then scratched some off and added a few more.
I am obviously not very good at this game. I had a horrible time limiting it to ten. So for the sake of my blog.. I am going to say 20. There is something very oddly sad about all of my choices with the exception of my grandparents and I still think I chose them originally out of obligation because 3 of them I believe they knew me as a grown woman and I showed them I loved them over their long lives.. One of them I would love to see and chat with but not at a dinner party it would be way to personal as I feel it would be with all of my grandparents so I have once again crossed them off of my list.



1. Marilyn Monroe - deceased- tragically- Choice one. I would ask her how exactly one wears fake eyelashes and how it feels not to have to be yourself any longer and have your entire life rewritten just so you can be a goddess. Oh and I would want to know why the hell she ever left Joe! I am not sure if I would ask her what happened the night she died. I don't think I want to know.

2. Jim Morrison -deceased- tragically- Can't tell you what I want him there for it isn't blog appropriate.

3. Sid Vicous- deceased- tragically- Can't tell you about him either.

4. Melanie- deceased-tragically- best friend from high school. I would ask her how we were so right about her but so wrong about me.

5. My Brother in Law- deceased- tragically- I am not sure I want to get into what I have to say to him. I will cry.

6. My other dad- deceased- tragically- it is tragic for any 18 year old to lose a father figure and even more tragic for an 18 year old to lose their father. I would want to tell him all about me and the sister person and show him how great she turned out. Not that he doesn't know.. I just want to see his smile and the pride in his eyes one more time.

7. Dale Earnhardt- deceased- tragically- I have no clue where he came from exactly other than he was part of my life growing up and the day he died I cried for hours and felt I had lost part of Sunday.

8. Humphery Bogart- deceased- not so tragic- I would ask him to call me Sweetheart all night. Although I am not sure I would have to ask.

9. James Dean- deceased- tragically- Not to be confused with Jimmy Dean the sausage dude. I would ask him to stand in the door err hmm LEAN in the door way all night looking at me with that look.. ooohhh the look.

10. Elvis- deceased- tragically- He was just a shoo in because he fit the bill- but I would ask him to sing Suspious Minds and You ain't nothng but a hounddog one more time.

11. John Belushi- deceased- tragically- I would ask him to do the Samurai Guy one more time and tell him that he didn't have to watch his language.

12. Kurt Cobain- deceased- tragiclaly- I wouldn't ask him to do or say anything. I just wanted him there.

13. John F Kennedy-deceased-tragically- again I don't think I would ask him anything I would just like to observe MM and JFK in the same room.

That was my list.. that was my dinner party. Not one living soul among them and only one who passed relatively peacefully.. if you can consider being 80 pounds with no esphogas and missing your lymph nodes peaceful.

I blame the sadness of my post on Katy and Monkling.. neither had chipper post today.

SMOOCHIES TO YOU ALL.. LIVING AND NOT SO LIVING.

Am I who I want to be...

I pulled this little piece out of the sister persons What she did this summer..

There is a song by Switchfoot "This Is Your Life", it's my summer anthem. The most powerful lyrics in the song are:

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

I haven't the slightest clue who exactly Switchfoot is.. the name seems to indicate they some 70's band but I can gaurantee you I am wrong there. I mean doesn't Switchfoot fit right in with Foghat, Blackfoot, names like that?

Ok the point of this post has nothing to do with band names although I am sure I could do a complete post about the weirdness of some of them. Golden Earring??

Anyway.. the point is Am I who I want to be...

To be honest .. no. am not who I wanted to be. Let me explain.
Who I wanted to be 20 years ago (give or take a year or so) doesn't fit with who I am today.

Let me start from WAY back when I was 5 I remember being asked what I wanted to be when I was in kindergarden. My response was a Nurse. That had to be the stupidest response in the world. I don't mean just a little dumb I mean full out STUPID. Not only can I not stand the sight of living blood but even a needle piercing living skin makes me queezy.

It seriously makes me wonder how I lived through the numerous piercings I have as well as multiple tatoos and dying for more. To me it isn't the same... I mean I can handle someone shoving a spike through my tongue no problem.. come at me or someone else with a needle and look out I am going to hit the floor. I can not watch Trama life in the ER, surgery shows on Discovery, ER, Grey's Anatomy, or House alone because there will be no one there to say.. it is ok you can look now. My husband has grown used to my queeziness to a degree and hands out the band aids so I don't have to look and he watches tv with me so I am not sitting there alone in the dark with my eyes covered screaming at no one IS IT OVER YET??

Now in direct contrast to this, I can watch autopsies, view mangled bodies, stomach the smell of burnt or decomposing flesh like it is second nature. Doesnt' bother me. Not at all. Maggots, bugs, I am fine. Even if they are wiggling in decomposing flesh. I know I sound sick but seriously I am not. Let me explain. I think I missed my calling back in kindergarden.. it wasn't a nurse I had the want to be, it was a medical examiner. Death does no bother me, not in a sense that I back away from it. There are many dead people out there that have one last story to tell, they can tell us so much.. who murdered them, what they did on their last moments, how the accident of their death occured. Just one more story before they are laid to rest. It takes a certain kind of person to get that story out of another human who no longer has a voice. I think I was that person but I missed it. I know could always just keep going to school and get it right.. wrong. You see the queeziness of the living has gotten much much worse in the last 10 years I mean to the point of panic at a small cut bad. And to be an ME you must complete medical school. There is no way I could do it. It is a shame because 20 years ago it would have been uncomfortable but i would have survived it without banging my head on the floor from passing out.

So am I would I wanted to be at 5 no.

I am going to skip to today because the years between 5 and now are riddled with incosistancy and nonesense.

Am I who I wanted to be. No.. am I who I want to be yes.
I know that probably makes no sense at all but I am who I want to be right this minute.
Who I am.... According to Meredith Brooks..

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way"

There are other things that make me who I am as well...
I am a friend.
I have a home.. I want a new house but that is different than a home.
I have money.. just not as much as I would like but does anyone.
I am a blogger.
I am a business woman..
I am a student.

Over all right this minute I am who I want to be. I do not have moments like some people and go WOW.. my dreams have come true. Because the dreams I had before are nothing of the person I am today. That is not a bad thing. I do have moments in time when I do look around and go WOW. My wow is different. My wow is a wow of ..

I finally found what I didn't know I was looking for.

I am the who I should have wanted to be but never knew I could be.