Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I am here... again...

and it hasn't even been a month yet. Kitty Litter would be proud.

Can I just go on record saying I have a love hate relationship with this time of year?

I adore the season and have deep roots in the reason for the season even if sometimes those roots pop up and go different directions it is still there. My grandparents instilled some great things in me. I adore the lights and the pretty packages and the simple little surprises. Like one of the breakfast girls who surprised us all this morning with tiny stockings filled with the cutest little cocktail thingies (yes that is the proper name of them) for all of us making sure we each had a different set. Those things I love. I love the anticipation of small children and large ones too wondering what Santa will bring. I love the fact that friends try to spend a few extra hours together.

I hate the emotion that comes with it. Hate Hate Hate it. When thing go awry this time of year it hurts even worse. Things are said and feelings are hurt worse. I am sorry for somethings I have done not sorry at all for others but I still hate it.

Please tell me it is close to Christmas Eve so I can pop a cork!!!!!!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I was told I stink at this.....

Must say it is pretty much the truth. But when I sit down at the keyboard and try to make the words form together to make some sort of sense lately it has come out looking like this...

"#$%$# christmas close #$%# shopping #$%# sleep #$%#@ work #$%$#@ wrap #$%@#"

See absolutely NO SENSE.

Ok the truth is when I sit down and begin to write the thought that really goes through my head is... "NO ONE wants to hear THAT!" What I should do at this juncture is reply to myself with "Who cares exactly what they want to read... this isn't about THEM it is YOUR blog!!!" And to think I was accused this week of being selfish... sigh. To quote "You are the most selfish person to ever walk this Earth." I must say I didn't reply I just stood there blinking that blink that betrays your brains sense of thinking "don't say anything don't say anything!" instead those eyes blink... big beautiful blue ones I might add.. blink. blink. blink. Which shouts "DROP DEAD YOU #$%@# IDIOT" apparently, because the rant went on from there. I am sorry I don't deal well with holier than thou idiots even if they ARE family.

I am who I am .. I was born this way have been this way for 38 years now, I have a feeling I will die this way, except for when I die I will be 50 lbs lighter and not in a bathrobe but in kick ass jeans, a sexy Chico's top, cowboy boots and the last you will see of me is driving off into the sunset in a black Camero... Hey we can all have dreams right?

Did I mention that the most selfish person in the world is the sister of the most giving person in the world. Sister person, let me post out here publicly for all the world to see.. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for everything... my room is working quite nicely here in Bavon (other than the fact that there are PEOPLE in my room here that weren't there .. that part not working out so well can I send them away??) The clothes are looking lovely in my closet. I sigh when I walk in there now .. longing for the day, inspiring me another morning to not eat that friggin doughnut that has been calling me since 2 am.

It is wonderful to have such balance in our family.. Most Giving Sister and Most Selfish Sister fun isn't it! We always said if they mashed us together into one person the world just wouldn't be able to deal!

I shall leave now.. until my bff fusses at me to leave a new post because she is sick of the old one.. so I guess be back in roughly 2 weeks.