Don't drink and fly.. you may hit a bump and slam your fist in the face of the woman beside you.

Today started out like any other.. I woke up. That is where normal ENDS for this lovely day.

It wasn't all bad.. Let's start with some good things.

I went to these places today. I can't tell you what I got at one of those places (surprises) and there is another store's bag, but that is in the car and I am not going out in the rain to get it.



I had these tonight. After posting last night about my huge rear end I eat this today.. MORONIC I tell ya..



I am sleeping in this tonight. Granted I am sleeping in it alone and that does not make me happy in the least but it does look comfy doesn't it? Oh and the pillows are heavenly. I really need new pillows at home.



Ok on to the interesting things..

I got up at 4 am to catch a flight to Chicago. I really did not want to get up that early but I did. I had no desire to leave the wonderful Waterman, the little Binky Boo, or the little Dude, but alas I made my way to the truck after as many kisses as I could squeeze in.

Get to the airport- check.
Get through security- check
Get to gate- check
Play on Internet while waiting for loading- check
Call home check on Waterman, Binky and Dude- Check
Load Plane- check
Take off- UNCHECK... NO CHECK.. NO NOTHING..

We were loaded on the plane for the pilot to immediately come on the intercom to say that we are delayed two hours!!! I mean SERIOUSLY.. WHY DO THEY DO THIS? I know they knew before putting us on the plane that we were NOT going anywhere. Ok fine whatever.

Settle in for a wait- chec... oh not so fast there.. I am sitting beside a lady who didn't bother to book her flight until last night and as surprising as it was to her she was not seated beside her husband. Well boo hoo. Ok fine not boo hoo. I felt giving and after all I would have wanted to sit next to my waterman too, so I agreed to switch seats with her husband. I mean after all it was caddy corner to me and was still an isle seat.

Pack Laptop back up- check
Grab book- check
Switch Seats- check
Settle in for wait-chec.. oh this is SO NOT happening.. the nice lady that is in the middle seat (who was quite a bit older than I am and since you all know how large I am I can say this and not feel guilty at ALL.. quite a bit larger than I am) can't keep her arm in her seating area.. her arm kept getting in my space!! In my rib area. Then she wants to chat. I am emailing work on my blackberry.. here is how that conversation went.
OL (old lady) Oh you have one of those text things.
Me mmhhm
OL Are you texting people about the delay?
Me unntaahh
OL Are you using that for work?
Me mmhhmm
OL Is it really that important?
Me mmmhhmm
OL I see
Me (to myself in my head) NO LADY YOU DON'T SEE A DANG THING.. YOU DON'T SEE THAT YOUR ELBOW IS BURIED THREE INCHES INTO THE FLAB THAT IS OVER MY RIBS. YOU DON'T SEE THAT I AM IGNORING YOU. AND YOU ARE TOO OLD TO SEE WHAT I AM ACTUALLY TYPING ON MY BLACKBERRY AT THE MOMENT THANK GOD CAUSE IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIGGIN ELBOW. NO LADY YOU DON'T SEE AT ALL!!!

Now typically I am not this mean about things, but I forgot to tell you about boarding the plane. That didn't help matters much. I boarded behind a older smaller Asian gentleman, picture an older rougher Mr Miyagi. This man had a larger bag than I have ever seen allowed on a plane. I am not sure how he was even allowed to board with this thing but he did. He lugged this thing behind him and seemed so frail I wanted to pick it up and carry it for him, that was before he backed up and banged me with it TWICE. No excuse me.. No I am sorry.. Only thing I got for my banged shins was a evil nasty look. Asswipe. So we FINALLY make it back to the seats, Miyagi is in the row behind my original seat. Keep in mind I am only on a one night trip so I only have my back pack and planned on storing it under the seat, well apparently Miyagi was afraid I was going to put my bag in the over head bin over my seat because he tried to take my head off with that monstrous bag of his!!! Frail my ass!

So you see, between getting up way early, delayed flights, Miyagiasswipe, Musical Seats, Elbows, and nosy granny.. I had finally HAD ENOUGH and was about to blow my lid. Anyway I think that the yelling in my head must have scared Granny Elbow a little because she started to leave me alone. Back to the check list.

Get book out- check
Get Mac out- check
Email Lis back on BB- check
Start Settling back in for the wait-chec.. OH NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS SOOOO NOT HAPPENING..
OL.. Excuse me.
Me.. muttering under breath
OL.. Excuse me.
Me.. yes.
OL.. My husband needs to stand up.
Me.. (in my head again) BITE ME.. GRAMPS can cramp up and pee himself for all I care I am not moving..
Me for real. Ok..
Stand up - check
Move out of way- check
Let Gramps by - check
Smile cause he seems as miserable with Granny Elbow as I am - check
Sit back down to wait for Gramps to come back- check

OL.. you know I think I will go while he is going..
ME (head again) if you don't make up your friggin mind I am going to stick a fork in your eyeball and pluck it out.
ME.. audible sigh

Apparently Granny Elbow didn't have to tinkle like Gramps, she apparently had to float a log that gagged Rows 21 through 15. All the while I am standing there waiting.. what was the point in sitting back down.

Ok.. so Gramps shuffles back into his seat and Granny Stinky Elbow flops back in hers. I settle back into mine. FINALLY
Settle in for long wait and two hour flight - CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK

So finally we are on the way, Granny Stinky Elbow reads a book which is fine by me, but then it is beverage time. I get coffee and she has the NERVE to tell me to BE CAREFUL with it. Uumm do I look like I am 2???

Live through Turbulence from Hell without puking- CHECK
Land- Check
Stand up and Wait for people to get their luggage-CHEEAARRRRGGGGHHHH
Granny Stinky Elbow shoved me into the isle!!! I didn't need to get luggage out of the bins so I was waiting, well she didn't want to so she SHOVED me into the isle!! WHAT THE HELL! So then I spent the next 10 minutes being bumped around the isle because I was in the way.
Get off plane- Check
Get rental Car- Check
Work- Check

That should be the end of my tragic day. Umm no. Joe (aka my Dad) calls me and says that Dude's book bag is gone (in this book bag is his clothes and all of his medications for tomorrow)
Me-Gone? What do you mean GONE?
Joe-He says someone stole it.
Me- That didn't happen
Joe- Probably not but we don't have it..
Me- Ok.. I am sorry
Joe- I went and got him some clothes
Me- didn't you get his medicine
Joe- he doesn't have any
Me- yes he does I picked it up YESTERDAY
Joe- He doesn't know where it is
Me- IT HAS BEEN IN THE SAME PLACE FOR 6 MONTHS..
Joe- I will take him to get it.

so he does.. I love my Joe.. but when they get back to Joe's house.. dude only has ONE sock with him. This is after making TWO trips to my house. Whatever, tomorrow he is going to school in dirty socks!!

Ok.. that seems like enough right? Nope not for me.
I finally get all checked in the hotel and take a much need shower to relax. I forget to take my contacts out before showering and there is just something about hotel water, maybe it is the chlorine, it dries my eyes out really bad. It took me about 10 minutes to unstick the little sheets of plastic from my eyeballs and THIS is what I was left with.



I did get one half way cool airport picture today though.. see?